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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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