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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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