Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?

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  (781): There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours? http://tfl.nu/3112
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  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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  (781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd
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  I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.

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  (781): I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance. http://tfl.nu/3nuq
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  She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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  (781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1
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  I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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  (781): I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on. http://tfl.nu/begu
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  please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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  (781): please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again. http://tfl.nu/xtmx
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  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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  (781): You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar http://tfl.nu/4b1n
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  My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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  (781): My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1wl2
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  I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.

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  (781): I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together. http://tfl.nu/rbls
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  his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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  (781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1
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  You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

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  (781): You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/rd8s
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  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
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  my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

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  so that means christmas in space?

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  imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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  (781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx
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  Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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  (781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy
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  Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget

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  (781): Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget http://tfl.nu/1lyj
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