Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Follow @tfln