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So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
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