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im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
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