Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (989)

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.

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  (989): I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance. http://tfl.nu/0t4j
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  I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day

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  (989): I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day http://tfl.nu/4uqd
  Replies (11) Good night (1950) Bad night (4547) Order T-Shirt
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  It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

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  (989): It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat. http://tfl.nu/ln17
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  i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen

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  (989): i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/envk
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  dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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  (989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away http://tfl.nu/dlah
  Replies (30) Good night (1606) Bad night (7582)
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  I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.

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  (989): I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight. http://tfl.nu/b4pp
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  i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.

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  (989): i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole. http://tfl.nu/0fwa
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  no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".

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  (989): no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed". http://tfl.nu/dmqo
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  I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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  (989): I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/82ko
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  my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring

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  i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me

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  (231): my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring (989): i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me http://tfl.nu/18pl
  Replies (21) Good night (6748) Bad night (897)
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  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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  (989): I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/vt43
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  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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  (989): you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out http://tfl.nu/f2m2
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  Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.

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  (989): Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/laq5
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  I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."

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  (989): I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him." http://tfl.nu/yg5c
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  did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  no

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  (989): did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know (1-989): no http://tfl.nu/fk8z
  Replies (27) Good night (1368) Bad night (5559) Order T-Shirt