Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (940)

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  (940): View more from Texas

  I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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  (940): I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/ldko
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?

  (940): View more from Texas

  homeless.

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  (717): gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy? (940): homeless. http://tfl.nu/iz6y
  Replies (17) Good night (4646) Bad night (954)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it

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  (940): just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it http://tfl.nu/6p5c
  Replies (50) Good night (795) Bad night (4748) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.

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  (940): and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/usna
  Replies (12) Good night (2398) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.

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  (940): I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one. http://tfl.nu/z4fm
  Replies (34) Good night (892) Bad night (3362) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (658) Bad night (3653) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.

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  (940): You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have. http://tfl.nu/bqro
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  (940): View more from Texas

  shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.

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  (940): shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/kuio
  Replies (24) Good night (2839) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  she started talking about my kids

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  was she topless?

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  (940): she started talking about my kids (1-940): was she topless? http://tfl.nu/rvo3
  Replies (14) Good night (652) Bad night (1710) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

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  (940): Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost. http://tfl.nu/jz6g
  Replies (25) Good night (507) Bad night (2997) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (1642) Order T-Shirt