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Last Night in Virginia (434)

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(434): View more from Virginia

he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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(434): he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him http://tfl.nu/rnup

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Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(434): Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/4ejh

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Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.

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(434): Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/f8a0

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Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.

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(434): Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/ab13

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I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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(434): I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach. http://tfl.nu/7n8a

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So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

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(434): So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970 http://tfl.nu/x6yp

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well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard

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(434): well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard http://tfl.nu/45qa

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Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.

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sound pretty economical

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(434): Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood. (951): sound pretty economical http://tfl.nu/xtyc

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Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.

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(434): Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/fvia

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ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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(434): ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl http://tfl.nu/vx26

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why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

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you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

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(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed? (540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets. http://tfl.nu/2g4o

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There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

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(434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj

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just come out here and I will go home with you...

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(434): just come out here and I will go home with you... http://tfl.nu/cpqx

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u cheatin on me?

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if i did i would try to upgrade babe.

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(434): u cheatin on me? (1-434): if i did i would try to upgrade babe. http://tfl.nu/br4f

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He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text

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(434): He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text http://tfl.nu/js3q

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Last Night in Virginia (434)

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