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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
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