Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Follow @tfln