Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (937)

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  we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

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  (937): we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order. http://tfl.nu/a6f0
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  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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  (937): She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend. http://tfl.nu/pjkv
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  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
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  Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.

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  (937): Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uerp
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  When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.

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  (937): When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary. http://tfl.nu/v8si
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  You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable

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  I can do at least one of those things.

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  (937): You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable (1-937): I can do at least one of those things. http://tfl.nu/zzd3
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  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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  (937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0
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  Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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  (937): Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/t3gw
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (496)
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  do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good

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  (937): do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good http://tfl.nu/57yk
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  I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

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  ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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  (937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7
  Replies (21) Good night (2125) Bad night (511)
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  You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.

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  (937): You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already. http://tfl.nu/06li
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  I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.

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  (937): I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding. http://tfl.nu/schb
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  Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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  (937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7
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  I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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  (937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37
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  They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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  (937): They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks. http://tfl.nu/nsc0
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