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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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