Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (903)

Last Night in Texas (903)

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(903): View more from Texas

I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

(214): View more from Texas

It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

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(903): I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls. (214): It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/5v3w

Replies (17) Good night (4904) Bad night (726)
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My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

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(903): My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. http://tfl.nu/fhlb

Replies (35) Good night (5123) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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(903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp

Replies (13) Good night (4581) Bad night (711)
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she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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(903): she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness http://tfl.nu/pvnd

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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

(541): View more from Oregon

Can I have him when you're done?

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(903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y

Replies (14) Good night (3691) Bad night (689)
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?

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(903): Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive? http://tfl.nu/hm3a

Replies (2) Good night (2166) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

(254): View more from Texas

Jealous?

(903): View more from Texas

Very.

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(903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx

Replies (8) Good night (2356) Bad night (685)
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Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.

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(903): Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere. http://tfl.nu/srvw

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I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass

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(903): I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass http://tfl.nu/h4q0

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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.

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(903): I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night. http://tfl.nu/xgeq

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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.

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(903): I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron. http://tfl.nu/xifm

Replies (4) Good night (2012) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?

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(903): Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ? http://tfl.nu/d8rt

Replies (28) Good night (4271) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.

(214): View more from Texas

kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.

(903): View more from Texas

I'll be there in 10

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(903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/kykh

Replies (19) Good night (5773) Bad night (641)
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Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

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(903): Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned. http://tfl.nu/e67l

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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on

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(903): I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on http://tfl.nu/lvsd

Replies (7) Good night (2671) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Texas (903)

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