Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (860)

Last Night in Connecticut (860)

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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you

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I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.

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(561): I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you (860): I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/r7r6

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When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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(860): When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation http://tfl.nu/q5aa

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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?

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(860): How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"? http://tfl.nu/cbsf

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I remember it like it was tomorrow.

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(860): Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love (1-860): I remember it like it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1n7o

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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

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(860): i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom http://tfl.nu/gild

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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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(860): You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep http://tfl.nu/5kc4

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Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

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I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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(860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1

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My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.

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I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.

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(860): My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church. (1-860): I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life. http://tfl.nu/n824

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on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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(860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23

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The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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(860): The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. http://tfl.nu/d7w3

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So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.

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(860): So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled. http://tfl.nu/ouz2

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You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

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(860): You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down http://tfl.nu/2dmo

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This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies

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(860): This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies http://tfl.nu/shv8

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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."

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(860): I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off." http://tfl.nu/975o

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I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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(860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y

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Last Night in Connecticut (860)

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