Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Minnesota (651)

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  I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

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  (651): I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class. http://tfl.nu/5a7w
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  dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.

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  (651): dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/gquq
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  Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already

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  (651): Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already http://tfl.nu/xrp9
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  College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.

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  (651): College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars. http://tfl.nu/lcai
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  Brilliant thought; pill pong.

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  What could go wrong?

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  (651): Brilliant thought; pill pong. (651): What could go wrong? http://tfl.nu/lofi
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  You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.

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  (651): You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out. http://tfl.nu/2o8m
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  2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people

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  and u failed math?

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  (651): 2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people (763): and u failed math? http://tfl.nu/331s
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  Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

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  (651): Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it. http://tfl.nu/j2gr
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  Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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  (651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id
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  Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

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  (651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q
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  My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection

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  (651): My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection http://tfl.nu/v7yu
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  Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies

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  Stop drinking before 5

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  Easier said than done

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  (651): Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies (612): Stop drinking before 5 (651): Easier said than done http://tfl.nu/j7cm
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  I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway

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  (651): I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway http://tfl.nu/e0rj
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  Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea

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  (651): Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea http://tfl.nu/mdyc
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  You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.

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  (651): You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with. http://tfl.nu/zaia
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