Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (614)

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  And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

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  (614): And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice" http://tfl.nu/xdkd
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  Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?

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  (614): Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me? http://tfl.nu/bgzy
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  Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.

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  (614): Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty. http://tfl.nu/ysw1
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  Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter

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  (614): Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/3fce
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  Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant

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  (614): Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant http://tfl.nu/jhvb
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  We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here

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  (614): We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here http://tfl.nu/ha0m
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  Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD

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  (614): Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD http://tfl.nu/nf04
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  Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.

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  (614): Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on. http://tfl.nu/zmme
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  There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.

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  (614): There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse. http://tfl.nu/wnun
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  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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  (614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q
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  She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

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  (614): She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! http://tfl.nu/awdf
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  Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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  (614): Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist http://tfl.nu/opm5
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  I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day

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  (614): I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day http://tfl.nu/6l93
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  Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.

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  (614): Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love. http://tfl.nu/irrq
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  I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it

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  (614): I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it http://tfl.nu/e9vj
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