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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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