Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (561)

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  at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe

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  (561): at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe http://tfl.nu/jv4z
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  If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.

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  (561): If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/hkz1
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  So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world

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  (561): So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world http://tfl.nu/2aj7
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  Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.

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  (561): Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo. http://tfl.nu/xop1
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  Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.

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  (561): Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN. http://tfl.nu/5n63
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  Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed

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  (561): Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed http://tfl.nu/ippt
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  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

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  (561): Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all... http://tfl.nu/2j9n
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  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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  (561): I will miss his soup and his dick the most http://tfl.nu/ampu
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  Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night

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  (561): Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night http://tfl.nu/h2y4
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  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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  (561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub
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  The beers last night were like the tears from god

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  (561): The beers last night were like the tears from god http://tfl.nu/bni8
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  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

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  (561): Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk http://tfl.nu/69zw
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  She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

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  (561): She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal. http://tfl.nu/us8h
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  She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.

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  (561): She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess. http://tfl.nu/v7az
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  She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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  (561): She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again http://tfl.nu/1qi4
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