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at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
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