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I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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