Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arkansas (501)

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?

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  (501): I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one? http://tfl.nu/9wky
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  Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

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  (501): Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ddwi
  Replies (9) Good night (3515) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'

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  (501): She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!' http://tfl.nu/emq3
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  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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  (501): These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves. http://tfl.nu/s1g0
  Replies (6) Good night (3201) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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  (501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9
  Replies (10) Good night (771) Bad night (2944) Order T-Shirt
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  I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.

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  (501): I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to. http://tfl.nu/jfhh
  Replies (10) Good night (974) Bad night (3150) Order T-Shirt
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  As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

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  (501): As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story. http://tfl.nu/lu21
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (2156) Order T-Shirt
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  He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

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  (501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (2140) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!

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  (501): Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?! http://tfl.nu/d2jg
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (2248) Order T-Shirt
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  You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.

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  (501): You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was. http://tfl.nu/yz4l
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  now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets

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  (501): now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets http://tfl.nu/czok
  Replies (9) Good night (2906) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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  (501): Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread. http://tfl.nu/0vqb
  Replies (7) Good night (3414) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

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  (501): One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/77ib
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (2771) Order T-Shirt
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  SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.

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  (501): SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD. http://tfl.nu/21ls
  Replies (30) Good night (11681) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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  we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

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  (501): we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american" http://tfl.nu/1xh1
  Replies (26) Good night (7795) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt