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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
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