Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (440)

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  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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  (440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses http://tfl.nu/u543
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  My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.

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  (440): My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol. http://tfl.nu/vdrg
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  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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  (440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7
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  Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

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  Probably.

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  I'm in.

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  (216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31
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  Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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  (440): Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college? http://tfl.nu/er5p
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  My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.

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  whore

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  (440): My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum. (216): whore http://tfl.nu/bo5h
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  thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

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  its only a rough draft.

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  (513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud
  Replies (10) Good night (3720) Bad night (693)
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  uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober

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  (440): uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober http://tfl.nu/fk8a
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  Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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  (440): Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day http://tfl.nu/1jo6
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  we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.

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  (440): we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now. http://tfl.nu/0eqq
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  My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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  (440): My astrological sign? Vagitarius. http://tfl.nu/0z0j
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  Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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  (440): Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true. http://tfl.nu/r2p3
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  Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!

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  (440): Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack! http://tfl.nu/22h4
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  Really stoned

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  just sent my roommate on a cheese run

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  (440): Really stoned (440): just sent my roommate on a cheese run http://tfl.nu/tnbw
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  Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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  (440): Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/5zyy
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