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you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
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