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Last Night in Virginia (434)

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(434): View more from Virginia

On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?

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(434): On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/gml1

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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.

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(434): He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face. http://tfl.nu/h6c3

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Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

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(434): Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now. http://tfl.nu/1bza

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Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

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(434): Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning http://tfl.nu/g13p

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THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER

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(434): THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER http://tfl.nu/7inm

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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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(434): my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life. http://tfl.nu/qxwb

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Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!

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Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.

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(540): Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like! (434): Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE. http://tfl.nu/nxwj

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Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.

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(434): Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care. http://tfl.nu/ksws

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Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.

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(434): Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/ab13

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So, were they human bite marks at least?

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Your guess is as good as mine.

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(617): So, were they human bite marks at least? (434): Your guess is as good as mine. http://tfl.nu/gi39

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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles

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(434): After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles http://tfl.nu/5yst

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I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...

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(434): I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either... http://tfl.nu/vddq

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u cheatin on me?

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if i did i would try to upgrade babe.

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(434): u cheatin on me? (1-434): if i did i would try to upgrade babe. http://tfl.nu/br4f

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I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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(434): I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents. http://tfl.nu/eibu

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did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

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(434): did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/alh3

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Last Night in Virginia (434)

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