Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Follow @tfln