Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (318)

Last Night in Louisiana (318)

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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?

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(318): He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer? http://tfl.nu/zjcd

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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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(318): No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair. http://tfl.nu/ztjm

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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..

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what?how do you know?

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it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.

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(318): i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday.. (1-318): what?how do you know? (318): it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet. http://tfl.nu/gg1h

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the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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(318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m

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Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

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(318): Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated. http://tfl.nu/sxgj

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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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(318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb

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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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(318): my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/jzo6

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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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(318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3

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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

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(318): That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior. http://tfl.nu/48ho

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What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?

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(318): What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway? http://tfl.nu/w9j3

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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again

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(318): her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again http://tfl.nu/8jzt

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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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(318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v

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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.

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(318): This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out. http://tfl.nu/skdx

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You going out tonight?

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No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.

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(337): You going out tonight? (318): No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon. http://tfl.nu/ifio

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I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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(318): I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/98cc

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Last Night in Louisiana (318)

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