Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (281)

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  (281): View more from Texas

  i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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  (281): i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/4vq3
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  Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.

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  (281): Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute. http://tfl.nu/xxsd
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  Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?

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  (281): Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner? http://tfl.nu/iojv
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  Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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  (281): Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday http://tfl.nu/9ias
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  okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.

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  (281): okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry. http://tfl.nu/ycuw
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  WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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  (281): WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?! http://tfl.nu/4ghk
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  The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.

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  (281): The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked. http://tfl.nu/awm7
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  She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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  (281): She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out http://tfl.nu/guh4
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  Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am

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  (281): Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am http://tfl.nu/24br
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  JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US

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  WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW

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  THE REISLING ATRACEX US

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  (281): JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US (281): WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW (281): THE REISLING ATRACEX US http://tfl.nu/6tcy
  Replies (21) Good night (1988) Bad night (1074)
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  We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.

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  (281): We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex. http://tfl.nu/sntw
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  I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.

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  (281): I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home. http://tfl.nu/pc90
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  seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

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  (281): seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout http://tfl.nu/w9k1
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  I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.

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  (281): I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked. http://tfl.nu/jbhc
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  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

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  (281): It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly. http://tfl.nu/y0mx
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