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Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
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