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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
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