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I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
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