Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (937)

Last Night in Ohio (937)

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The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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(937): The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night... http://tfl.nu/fmz0

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Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance

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(937): Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance http://tfl.nu/14uy

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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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(937): Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/4hwq

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... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

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(937): ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard? http://tfl.nu/u1hc

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Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.

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(937): Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams. http://tfl.nu/nyo6

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I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.

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(937): I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart. http://tfl.nu/okmj

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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.

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(937): If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true. http://tfl.nu/q4xc

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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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(937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h

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They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

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(937): They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night http://tfl.nu/quiu

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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.

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(937): They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/o7iw

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Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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(937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev

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She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?

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(937): She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity? http://tfl.nu/jd0w

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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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(937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa

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as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

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(937): as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over. http://tfl.nu/xpv9

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in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.

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(937): in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable. http://tfl.nu/kvvg

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Last Night in Ohio (937)

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