Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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  (918): please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters http://tfl.nu/gu1l
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  When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."

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  (918): When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being." http://tfl.nu/i99y
  Replies (7) Good night (587) Bad night (992)
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  I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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  (918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt
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  Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?

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  (918): Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision? http://tfl.nu/w6zq
  Replies (9) Good night (2597) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  I was tackling you out of excitement

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  Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.

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  (316): I was tackling you out of excitement (918): Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall. http://tfl.nu/io5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1212) Bad night (487)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?

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  (918): It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar? http://tfl.nu/u4v8
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  He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl

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  (918): He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl http://tfl.nu/2qwr
  Replies (3) Good night (1447) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

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  (918): I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her? http://tfl.nu/6frm
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  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

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  (918): All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks http://tfl.nu/j9e3
  Replies (13) Good night (1942) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.

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  (918): We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off. http://tfl.nu/7uo8
  Replies (12) Good night (1683) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.

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  (918): Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages. http://tfl.nu/6dga
  Replies (5) Good night (1170) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?

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  (918): They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down? http://tfl.nu/j8kx
  Replies (5) Good night (1988) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.

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  (918): Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose. http://tfl.nu/n06v
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  What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.

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  (918): What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how. http://tfl.nu/o4fq
  Replies (12) Good night (3044) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
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  It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.

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  (918): It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin. http://tfl.nu/s6ok
  Replies (25) Good night (3125) Bad night (570)