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Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
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