Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (847)

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  Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.

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  (847): Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am. http://tfl.nu/1jpl
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  Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

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  Do you believe in miracles?

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  (224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830
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  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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  (847): Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos. http://tfl.nu/unc3
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  We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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  (847): We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love. http://tfl.nu/9pu7
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  I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"

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  (847): I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment" http://tfl.nu/bamr
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  that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn

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  (847): that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn http://tfl.nu/c0rj
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  I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

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  (847): I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tgoh
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  Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.

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  (847): Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before. http://tfl.nu/p6ld
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  sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.

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  (847): sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys. http://tfl.nu/l0ff
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  Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.

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  (847): Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations. http://tfl.nu/g9dw
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  I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.

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  (847): I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives. http://tfl.nu/c9ce
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  This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good

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  (847): This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good http://tfl.nu/2hdv
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  I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.

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  (847): I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am. http://tfl.nu/8371
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  It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

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  (847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod
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  YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

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  (847): YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU http://tfl.nu/vl39
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