Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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  (781): You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece http://tfl.nu/uonr
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  Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

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  (781): Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet http://tfl.nu/haby
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  No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye

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  (781): No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye http://tfl.nu/qnov
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  he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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  (781): he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me" http://tfl.nu/6fll
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  after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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  (781): after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13 http://tfl.nu/mex2
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  Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

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  I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

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  Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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  (508): Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen. (781): I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night. (508): Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street. http://tfl.nu/mnwi
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  I have one thing to say: spongebath.

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  I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.

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  (781): I have one thing to say: spongebath. (1-781): I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all. http://tfl.nu/ojs2
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  btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry

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  (781): btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry http://tfl.nu/6odg
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  Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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  (781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy
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  On my way to the DMV to get arrested

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  (781): On my way to the DMV to get arrested http://tfl.nu/1450
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  just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk

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  (781): just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/vmmw
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  i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.

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  didn't that happen to you last weekend?

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  shut up.

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  (781): i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention. (1-781): didn't that happen to you last weekend? (781): shut up. http://tfl.nu/cv2d
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  I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston

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  (781): I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/zjjv
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  She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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  (781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1
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  He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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  (781): He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory. http://tfl.nu/fp19
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