Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (757)

Last Night in Virginia (757)

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SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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(757): SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get? http://tfl.nu/a9m1

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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.

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(757): Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob. http://tfl.nu/c5bb

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and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.

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(757): and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion. http://tfl.nu/2944

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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner

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(757): The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner http://tfl.nu/cdsa

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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?

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(757): Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness? http://tfl.nu/5dab

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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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(757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx

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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.

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(757): Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life. http://tfl.nu/3f3y

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is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?

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(757): is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle? http://tfl.nu/66tk

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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.

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(757): I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass. http://tfl.nu/p1y3

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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

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(757): Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :( http://tfl.nu/ztju

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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.

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(757): he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore. http://tfl.nu/szvz

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I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.

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you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.

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(703): I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes. (757): you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing. http://tfl.nu/fdil

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Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.

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(757): Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity. http://tfl.nu/u9jp

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So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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(757): So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real. http://tfl.nu/gd5o

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where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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(757): where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside. http://tfl.nu/wzli

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Last Night in Virginia (757)

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