Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (727)

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  (727): View more from Florida

  I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.

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  (727): I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age. http://tfl.nu/xhom
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  (727): View more from Florida

  My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."

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  (727): My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ." http://tfl.nu/nnzb
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.

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  (727): We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/xk91
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.

  (727): View more from Florida

  MAS TEQUILA.

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  (301): FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE. (727): MAS TEQUILA. http://tfl.nu/9ggd
  Replies (3) Good night (1271) Bad night (471)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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  (727): He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life. http://tfl.nu/pdok
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  Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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  (727): Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea http://tfl.nu/mom5
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with

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  (727): Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with http://tfl.nu/m05i
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  No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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  (727): No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die". http://tfl.nu/gpa4
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  (727): View more from Florida

  it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...

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  (727): it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ... http://tfl.nu/w5eb
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  The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.

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  (727): The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands. http://tfl.nu/kwg7
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.

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  (727): Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules. http://tfl.nu/9nm8
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have

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  (727): I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have http://tfl.nu/1hgx
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  If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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  (727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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  (727): Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots? http://tfl.nu/ihjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1853) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

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  (727): Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now? http://tfl.nu/ch6a
  Replies (10) Good night (622) Bad night (1358) Order T-Shirt