Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (607)

Last Night in New York (607)

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(607): View more from New York

I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

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Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.

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(607): I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! (315): Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch. http://tfl.nu/yk91

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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?

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(607): He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official? http://tfl.nu/vpzn

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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night

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(607): Did strip banana grams actually happen last night http://tfl.nu/pz66

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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.

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(607): Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night. http://tfl.nu/v41h

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You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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(607): You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive. http://tfl.nu/27zg

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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.

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(607): To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail. http://tfl.nu/vfu4

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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.

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(607): No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk. http://tfl.nu/h3m8

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I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.

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(607): I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable. http://tfl.nu/31u9

Replies (9) Good night (404) Bad night (1376)
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We are hot boxing the gondola

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I hate everything.

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(207): We are hot boxing the gondola (607): I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/4t9d

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Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth

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(607): Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth http://tfl.nu/3kds

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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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(607): I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud! http://tfl.nu/toc7

Replies (7) Good night (3957) Bad night (608)
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.

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(607): It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night. http://tfl.nu/nw26

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Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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(607): Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair. http://tfl.nu/k6ce

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She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.

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(607): She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine. http://tfl.nu/vfal

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Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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(607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f

Replies (8) Good night (1861) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in New York (607)

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