Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Follow @tfln