Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (520)

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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  (520): I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito" http://tfl.nu/vbc5
  Replies (8) Good night (944) Bad night (472)
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  I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

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  (520): I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/u2a7
  Replies (5) Good night (1395) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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  (520): She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers. http://tfl.nu/zf1p
  Replies (12) Good night (1882) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

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  (520): you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab http://tfl.nu/m7xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1522) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.

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  (520): I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people. http://tfl.nu/38n6
  Replies (6) Good night (607) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
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  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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  (520): One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops. http://tfl.nu/4y8e
  Replies (10) Good night (1873) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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  (520): I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour http://tfl.nu/ht3n
  Replies (5) Good night (1844) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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  (520): There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this. http://tfl.nu/ttw7
  Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.

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  (520): Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded. http://tfl.nu/om7e
  Replies (9) Good night (3171) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals

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  Are you high and at a petting zoo again?

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  (520): Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals (480): Are you high and at a petting zoo again? http://tfl.nu/ph9z
  Replies (4) Good night (4974) Bad night (724)
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  Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.

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  (520): Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell. http://tfl.nu/mi1d
  Replies (11) Good night (1821) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"

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  (520): They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield" http://tfl.nu/wdyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2839) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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  (520): He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car.. http://tfl.nu/pywi
  Replies (14) Good night (2594) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.

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  (520): There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in. http://tfl.nu/msb5
  Replies (7) Good night (2798) Bad night (691)