Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Follow @tfln