Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Brunswick (506)

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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

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  (506): All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other http://tfl.nu/mktv
  Replies (13) Good night (5150) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

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  (506): She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/lnzm
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  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

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  (506): Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach http://tfl.nu/g758
  Replies (14) Good night (687) Bad night (6639) Order T-Shirt
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  I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.

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  (506): I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace. http://tfl.nu/37qg
  Replies (18) Good night (3546) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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  (506): I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to http://tfl.nu/sk6c
  Replies (25) Good night (5382) Bad night (1351) Order T-Shirt
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  I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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  (506): I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision. http://tfl.nu/nkkw
  Replies (28) Good night (4345) Bad night (1215) Order T-Shirt
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  He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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  (506): He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants. http://tfl.nu/uu5r
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  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

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  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (16) Good night (10238) Bad night (975)
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  I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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  (506): I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why. http://tfl.nu/rcz3
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  He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?

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  (506): He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/8v8k
  Replies (20) Good night (778) Bad night (6033) Order T-Shirt
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  so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral

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  (506): so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral http://tfl.nu/0vqu
  Replies (16) Good night (5836) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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  (506): Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell http://tfl.nu/5oyd
  Replies (19) Good night (3872) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

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  (506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off! http://tfl.nu/nmc3
  Replies (28) Good night (5739) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet

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  (506): it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet http://tfl.nu/6nks
  Replies (9) Good night (813) Bad night (4188) Order T-Shirt
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  No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?

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  (506): No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude? http://tfl.nu/wnbm
  Replies (90) Good night (1255) Bad night (7313) Order T-Shirt