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All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
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