Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wyoming (307)

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  You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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  (307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0
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  Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.

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  (307): Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation. http://tfl.nu/3hoc
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  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

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  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

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  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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  (307): ... I threw up in the shower this morning (406): You were "I'm not drunk" drunk. (307): I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time. http://tfl.nu/80b5
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  I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.

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  (307): I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER. http://tfl.nu/f0gg
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  I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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  (307): I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will... http://tfl.nu/d1km
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  Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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  (307): Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick. http://tfl.nu/ynec
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  As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.

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  (307): As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex. http://tfl.nu/yx96
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  just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.

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  (307): just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT. http://tfl.nu/ndey
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  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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  (307): he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back. http://tfl.nu/n0f2
  Replies (21) Good night (490) Bad night (1808)
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  all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

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  (307): all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot. http://tfl.nu/o7h8
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  We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

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  (307): We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger. http://tfl.nu/ajz2
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  It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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  (307): It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically" http://tfl.nu/yzem
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  Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.

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  (307): Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/w9b1
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  The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.

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  (307): The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity. http://tfl.nu/x8mh
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  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
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