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it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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