Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (903)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication. http://tfl.nu/g1e0
  Replies (18) Good night (2179) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news. http://tfl.nu/pxui
  Replies (10) Good night (1882) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number? http://tfl.nu/4q6h
  Replies (33) Good night (5419) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal. http://tfl.nu/qev8
  Replies (26) Good night (17270) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x
  Replies (12) Good night (3113) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish. http://tfl.nu/384h
  Replies (13) Good night (2357) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay http://tfl.nu/z5xx
  Replies (9) Good night (4044) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis. http://tfl.nu/5wmm
  Replies (27) Good night (5556) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Me specifically?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Today in psych we learned that you are a whore. (1-314): Me specifically? (903): Yep. http://tfl.nu/w818
  Replies (44) Good night (9448) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up. http://tfl.nu/rp3b
  Replies (9) Good night (2213) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth... http://tfl.nu/u93t
  Replies (7) Good night (2334) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now http://tfl.nu/6vco
  Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (927) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison http://tfl.nu/pb8x
  Replies (11) Good night (2984) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R" http://tfl.nu/2koa
  Replies (50) Good night (5561) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later. http://tfl.nu/bq2x
  Replies (14) Good night (7100) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt