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Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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