Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (847)

Last Night in Illinois (847)

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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.

(847): View more from Illinois

i think the last part kind of negates the first part there

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(773): I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off. (847): i think the last part kind of negates the first part there http://tfl.nu/g7hy

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Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.

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(847): Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra. http://tfl.nu/ud2y

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That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...

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(847): That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't... http://tfl.nu/cux6

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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.

(312): View more from Illinois

Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE

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(847): The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking. (312): Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE http://tfl.nu/m86e

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A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover

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(847): A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover http://tfl.nu/j4ep

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I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.

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(847): I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying. http://tfl.nu/v59j

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Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.

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(847): Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing. http://tfl.nu/jldd

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This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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(847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he

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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

(630): View more from Illinois

As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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(847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb

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He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.

(312): View more from Illinois

So... He's a barber?

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No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?

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(847): He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part. (312): So... He's a barber? (847): No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it? http://tfl.nu/hrcs

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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.

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(847): Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite. http://tfl.nu/nf89

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being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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(847): being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk http://tfl.nu/qiyf

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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night

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(847): She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night http://tfl.nu/5dv7

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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina

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(847): Did you fuck him in my garden last night? (1-847): That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gy1z

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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.

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(847): Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high. http://tfl.nu/a6we

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Last Night in Illinois (847)

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