Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (781)

Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.

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(781): He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent. http://tfl.nu/jtvv

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I can't answer my phone I'm at work

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I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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(339): I can't answer my phone I'm at work (781): I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities http://tfl.nu/qhjl

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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.

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(781): You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right. http://tfl.nu/fzy9

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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried

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(781): I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried http://tfl.nu/enjc

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We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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(781): We need more drag queens in our life I've decided http://tfl.nu/77cl

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I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick

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(781): I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick http://tfl.nu/smiy

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she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

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5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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(617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn

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Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

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(781): Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms http://tfl.nu/wx24

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You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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(781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh

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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

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(781): My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum http://tfl.nu/wc4p

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I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH

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(781): I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH http://tfl.nu/y9eb

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you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

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21st birthday = success

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(781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn

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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.

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(781): perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax. http://tfl.nu/ar2h

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U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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(781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn

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Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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(781): Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth. http://tfl.nu/q2q1

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Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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