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Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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(781): I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots. http://tfl.nu/2a1b

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video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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(781): video games are the ultimate cock blocker http://tfl.nu/a2qu

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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".

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It was only one, it doesn't count.

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(978): I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES". (781): It was only one, it doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/lfgz

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just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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(781): just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me http://tfl.nu/gh9y

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There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

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OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

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Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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(207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8

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Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive

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(781): Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive http://tfl.nu/cgnf

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Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

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Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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(781): Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?! (781): Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze. http://tfl.nu/sc14

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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.

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(781): he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me. http://tfl.nu/iw9a

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Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.

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(781): Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart. http://tfl.nu/ct0g

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I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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(781): I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I? http://tfl.nu/0o9s

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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...

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(781): I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet... http://tfl.nu/t0x0

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Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

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(781): Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump? http://tfl.nu/1thl

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Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

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(781): Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD http://tfl.nu/rpdj

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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

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(781): what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to? http://tfl.nu/2zz0

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I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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(781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd

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Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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