Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (760)

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  (760): View more from California

  We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix

  (760): View more from California

  THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE

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  (760): We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix (760): THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE http://tfl.nu/hk7r
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (279)
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  Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.

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  Because it is cat.

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  (760): Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use. (818): Because it is cat. http://tfl.nu/tbfo
  Replies (9) Good night (1415) Bad night (393)
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  Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.

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  (760): Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security. http://tfl.nu/lxl5
  Replies (9) Good night (1371) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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  (760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf
  Replies (23) Good night (1875) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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  (760): I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart http://tfl.nu/0amr
  Replies (7) Good night (851) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.

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  (760): I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death. http://tfl.nu/3p5q
  Replies (12) Good night (1168) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter

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  (760): The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter http://tfl.nu/uanv
  Replies (6) Good night (862) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.

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  (760): so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up. http://tfl.nu/rvmx
  Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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  (760): You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today http://tfl.nu/u74i
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes

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  (760): This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes http://tfl.nu/v44x
  Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.

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  (760): The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here. http://tfl.nu/qr6c
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (754)
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  Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.

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  (760): Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up. http://tfl.nu/n00x
  Replies (5) Good night (595) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).

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  (760): Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know). http://tfl.nu/1aw3
  Replies (8) Good night (1088) Bad night (402)
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  The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.

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  (760): The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet. http://tfl.nu/760v
  Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

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  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (922) Bad night (375)