Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (757)

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.

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  (757): I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away. http://tfl.nu/b7dn
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  You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.

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  (757): You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else. http://tfl.nu/0zf9
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  She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.

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  (757): She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza. http://tfl.nu/cuy7
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  he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire

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  (757): he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire http://tfl.nu/du1v
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  HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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  (757): HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST http://tfl.nu/fouh
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  Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

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  (757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q
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  You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex

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  (757): You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex http://tfl.nu/b8jn
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  Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.

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  (757): Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/5xkl
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  do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

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  (757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj
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  Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.

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  (757): Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today. http://tfl.nu/c0a7
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  I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.

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  (757): I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration. http://tfl.nu/xlpu
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  I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.

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  (757): I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date. http://tfl.nu/oqzd
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  also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober

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  (757): also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober http://tfl.nu/ijy4
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  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

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  (757): Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning http://tfl.nu/ntuq
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  There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon

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  (757): There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon http://tfl.nu/7pni
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