Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (715)

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying

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  (715): Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying http://tfl.nu/dqm7
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  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
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  Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?

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  (715): Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him? http://tfl.nu/jy7k
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  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
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  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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  (715): Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment? (1-715): Probably http://tfl.nu/g5lc
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  I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better

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  (715): I haven't seen her in ages, how is she? (651): Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better http://tfl.nu/q7yr
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  your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage

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  HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES

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  (715): your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage (608): HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES http://tfl.nu/buhh
  Replies (5) Good night (2403) Bad night (414)
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  I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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  (715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg
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  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
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  I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

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  (715): I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to... http://tfl.nu/6wxx
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  All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever

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  (715): All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever http://tfl.nu/1qjr
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  Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?

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  (715): Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend? http://tfl.nu/ol2o
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  It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.

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  (715): It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection. http://tfl.nu/qz8n
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  just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN

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  (715): just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN http://tfl.nu/9tva
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  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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  (715): An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all. http://tfl.nu/7eme
  Replies (12) Good night (3599) Bad night (592)