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From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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